Why Bother? Who Cares?

I write this as my very first "blog" ever. This is completely foreign to me and don't even know what I will keep posting about, but this is my challenge to myself. Step outside of my comfort zone, share my positive thoughts and feelings, dreams and passions, and a view from my world. I am choosing to write some things out to help me organize so many thoughts and teach myself not be shy of being my own person and not worrying what someone else is going to think!

I believe each person has their own world; no two are ever the same. From the people you see every day, to the ones you see twice a year, they all are a piece in your life. I have had my fair share of struggles and accomplishments, and as thoughts go round and round in my head I figure I might as well write them down because chances are I am not the only one thinking, why can't I do better, why can't I have what they have, why do I feel this way?! When honestly, I CAN do better if I put my mind to it, I CAN have anything I want if I make it a priority and a realistic goal. And I feel this way because I am human and want to please people and make a difference to someone in my life.

I grew up on a small farm near High River AB with my mom, dad and big brother.  In 2006 I was named the Alberta High School Rodeo Queen which was one of my personal challenges and today when I am asked about it, I shrug my shoulders and say "that was a long time ago, it doesn't matter anymore. Eventually people won't even remember." If I heard someone say that to me, my response would be, "It doesn't matter how old you are, it will always be part of you and will always be someone to be proud of, no one can take such a huge accomplishment away from you. Enjoy it." Does that sound like that same person to you? So strange how people manage to envy others and once they have reached a goal they don't take the time to say, "Wow - I did it!"

After spending years barrel racing, team roping, goat tying, breakaway roping, and pole bending (I had to try everything) I started what I like to call 'real life.' Life after high school and college when you come to a point and say - now what? Where do I go? What do I do? I felt like it was like trying to find myself all over again.

I am blessed to have great people in my life that inspire and encourage me, that get me thinking about all kinds of things. After moving away permanently 2 years ago, I realized how important my mom and dad are in my life. I lived in Olds for 3 years but in my head I never really told myself this is me moving away from home. I always just thought, 'I'm just going to school.' It’s only for 8 months then I move again and then back again. But after consciously making that decision to move away, I had never been more homesick. Luckily, I moved away from home for the love of my life. I met a boy at school, actually I met a girl who introduced me to her brother, haha.

Every day I literally count my blessings and am so grateful to have my brand new husband by my side as we start our life together.

When I get that empty, homesick feeling and think why bother? Who cares? Think about it, someone is always counting on you. I have done so much growing this year, I am finding my feet and getting stronger on them every day. I hope to dig my heels in, grow some roots and enjoy the ride. I know someone cares, no matter how far away you are.